Hello from Canada. Maddie and I drove up here yesterday, the day before midterms. It's freezing, but at least there's snow here. Kidding. I'm still in Pennsburg. In school. Canada just seems so much more interesting than Penn High school. I still could go to Canada, Maddie's a year older than me, she has her license, we could pack our bags and hit the road before anyone could say "they don't have gas money". Which is the only reason we haven't left.
"My hair is a wreck!" Lily turns toward me, her face scrunched up. "Do you ever have those days where your hair looks perfect in the morning, but when you get to school its horrible?" Not really. It is what it is. "Sometimes." I take another bite of my peanut butter sandwich, wishing Maddie had the same lunch period as me. Lily glares at her reflection in her phone, as if her frown will scare her hair back into it's proper place. Not that it doesn't look exactly the same as it always does. But if I tell her that, she'll take it the wrong way. "You eat your peanut butter sandwich funny." I turn my head to the right, glancing at Parker. "Is there a certain way to eat a peanut butter sandwich?" I ask. I take another bite. "No no no! You're doing it all. Wrong." I roll my eyes. "You don't even like peanut butter. I'm the best peanut butter sandwich eater you will ever know."
I shiver, looking out the row of windows that surround half of the cafeteria. It's raining harder now. I can hear the pitter patter over the roar of three hundred teenagers talking at once. Conversations begin to die down around me as a low rumble surges over the school. "We never have thunder storms in January." Lily hisses in my ear. I give a faint nod, my eyes still glued to the window, now almost impossible to see through because of the rain. A few flashes of light brighten up the parking lot right before another boom shakes the school. The lights flicker in the room, causing a few girls to shriek. You really haven't had the power go out before? Do you have to scream? I'm jarred from my thoughts as the light disappears completely, leaving the whole cafeteria silent, every student frozen in place, the sound of the rain drumming through our ears. A set of light bulbs begin buzzing over my head, and part of the room is filled with blinding light which soon disappears, leaving a trail of sparks behind, which fly onto my, immediately setting fire to a Parker's paper bag. I leap up, pulling him and Lily out of their seats as the flames engulfed the paper, leaving behind a few black smoldering crumbs.
Your writing is very natural and vivid, I can see/hear/smell/feel everything that is going on in that cafeteria. I also like how your inner thoughts (italic) are interspersed with the dialog - gives me a sense I am watching this from inside your head. But the ending left me hanging in an unsatisfied way, like I went to take one last sip of milk but the glass was empty. It's weird because I think when you write poetry, you do have an ending. Anyway this is sooo awesome, your style is simply amazing.
ReplyDeletei meant to end it sort of suddenly
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